Mock draft from Emmitt Smith designed to entertain
Some funny lines in this mock draft that mocks Giant-killer Emmitt Smith:
Oakland Raiders: Bruce Campbells, OT, Maryland
Before I depart on my journey back across the Oakland line, Al Davids tolded me who he was going to pick in the mark draft. He said Bruce Campbells is a “great player.” When I ask why, he showed me lots of number. I am not good with number, so I do not understand this worksheet, but Al Davids reassurded me that Bruce Campbell can run faster than any offensive lineman in the history of the National Conference of Footballs. And that, my friend, is a history that have longness and bigness!
Miami Dolphins: Jean Pierre-Paul, DE/OLB, South Florida
I normally do not like putting defensive player in my mark draft. As my friend Michael Irving always say, “Defense do not wins championships. Point wins championships.”But Bill Parcell have different view from you, I and other guy. Parcell, nickname the Big Fish, really like taking linebackers in the first round of mark drafts. He love taking linebackers. In fact, you can say that he love it so much that he want to have sexual relation with taking linebackers in the first round.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Sam Bradley, QB, Oklahoma State
If Big Ben have another sexual insultment on top of these two, there is a chance he will go to jail for a very, very long time. In our society, the rule go, “Three strikes and you have or has a strike out.” Big Ben one strike remove from havin’ a striked out, which is not positive thinging! The Steelers need to draft a quarterback just in case Big Ben go to jail where he will be sexual insultmented from the behind.
